It’s a typical Tuesday night and the line for Ann Arbor’s home of the damned — Scorekeepers Bar and Grille — is out the door. As you wait in line you might be wondering: Am I going to get in? Are we in the right order? Who’s here tonight? Do I look good?

Ah-ha! There it is — the last question on your mind — do I look good?

As a girl, you know the reality is the bouncer will only let you in if you’re lookin’ fine. Let’s be honest, you could actually be 21 but if you’re not dressed in a short skirt and some scrap of cloth that you’re trying to pass off as a top, you’re not getting in. However, if you’re clad in 4-inch plus heels and a bodycon dress you could pretty much hand the bouncer a scrap of notebook paper that says “I’m 21” and you’re as good as gold.

Dress like a slut and the world, or at least Scorekeepers, is your oyster. That’s the ugly truth. But when exactly did we learn the Golden Rule: Thou shalt wear low-cut tops?

Maybe it all started when we were little girls dressed in tomboyish Gap t-shirts watching our favorite Disney princess movie through mascara-less eyelashes. Now you might be thinking yeah, okay, Snow White isn’t exactly your typical lady of the night with her cap sleeves and kitten heels — but hear me out. As aspiring princesses-in-training we look to these cartoon idols for advice on finding our happily ever after — or at least I did. So maybe Snow White doesn’t seem like your typical hussy but let’s take a look at another princess, say, Ariel. That girl is wearing nothing but the cartoon version of the Victoria’s Secret Bombshell bra and — well that’s about it (mermaid tails don’t count). If you’re still not convinced — how about Cinderella? Now in the beginning of the movie she’s wearing matronly brown garb — a covert sexist statement about our domestic role in the house. And with that blasé spinster’s outfit, it’s pretty clear that she’s not attracting anyone but birds and mice. Then as if by magic (insert fairy godmother and eye rolling) a sparkly low-cut dress and some gaudy blue eye shadow, she bags the man of her dreams. Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo, you’ve got yourself a success by slut-ification story.

So maybe we were too young to really understand the implicit demeaning message that ol’ Walt was sending us through our VCRs. But as we’ve gotten older the media messages have become more shamelessly explicit and — quite frankly — disgusting. Take the 2008 romcom, “The House Bunny”, where Playboy bunny Shelly tries to teach the frumpy-dump sorority girls of Zeta Alpha Zeta how to attract frat boys and save their house. And what is the holy grail of being a successful sorority girl? You guessed it! Dressing like a slut. Shelly expertly advises them that “dressing sexy is all about skimplifying. I want you to show skin in the four major regions. Arms, legs, belly and cleavage.” You heard it from the Playboy bunny first — showing skin equals happiness.

So now after you’ve done some deep soul-searching on the origins of the slutty outfit, here you are, back in the line at Scorekeepers, trying to channel all your good karma into getting past the gatekeeper (the bouncer with a smug Cheshire grin on his face). Thankfully, even though you look like you’re 12 and your fake ID is a piece of shit, you remembered to wear that mesh cut-out Nasty Gal dress you’ve been saving for such an occasion.

*Cue the trumpets and angelic music* You got in!

So, you can choose to look at this blatant disregard for the law and the linear relationship between skin exposure and male attention involved as a really good thing or a really bad thing.

I like to look at it as a damn good thing because it means that as women we hold all the cards. There will always be some men that ogle women and appreciate them at legs to chest — then at face value. Some things you just can’t change. Now I’m not saying that as a girl you should walk around with a tit hanging out in order to get what you want — that would be borderline prostitution. But what I’m saying is that as strong, beautiful women of the 21st century it’s our prerogative when it comes to how we want others to perceive us. It’s pretty empowering to feel comfortable with your own body and dress how you please.

Maybe we really should follow Beyoncé’s advice: if you’ve got it, flaunt it. So screw boys and let’s just dance.

Natasha Ertzbischoff can be reached at nmertz@umich.edu.