July 28, 2011 - 6:53pm
Additions to "THE BIG HOUSE PLEDGE"
BY CHANTEL JENNINGS
So, I don't know if you've seen the back of the student section shirts recently. They have 'the big house pledge' written on the back of it:
Original BIG HOUSE PLEDGE:
I pledge to make my way to the Big House every Football Saturday to cheer on my Maize and Blue as they take the field in the name of Michigan. I will join the chorus of Wolverine faithful as they hail the victors. I promise to give everything I have to the Maize and Blue and I will dig deep for something extra when the team needs me most. I will bring it all four quarters and I won't stop until the clock reads all zeroes. I will do all of this because I am all in for Michigan.
Well, this pledge may seem a little intense to some people, so I have decided to make some amendments to this pledge that will make it most accessible to those that feel inept. There's one game left, some of these pertain to the OSU game, others don't. But keep these in mind for next season too.
Amendment #1: I WILL WEAR SHOES
No one wants to see your feet. I don't care how nice it is outside, your feet can stay in their shoes. Not kidding. There were two boys standing two rows in front of me without shoes. Besides being completely disgusting, it is 100% unsanitary.
Amendment #2: WHEN DOING THE "YOU SUCK" CHEER, I WILL NOT HIT THE PERSON IN FRONT OF ME
I don't know if there are kids who were never a part of middle school choir, and therefore never learned the ideology around "windows," but this is how it works. There are spaces between people's heads where you can a.) see through b.) put your hand through (if you really bring the chopping motion down that far) It is unnecessary to hit the person in front of you. Stop it.
Amendment #3: I WON'T DO THE WAVE WHEN IT'S A CLOSE GAME
This should be understood. Saturday = close game. Pay attention to the freaking game. If it's a blowout, stand up and flail your arms about as if your appendages were unattached to your body. Otherwise, keep your hands down.
Amendment #4: ZOLTAN SIGN. LEFT HAND OVER RIGHT HAND.
Left hand facing field, thumb down. Check. Right hand facing self, thumb up. Check. It's two simple steps to making sure the Zoltan Z is so Zoltan can read it, not the student section. It's amateur hour in the student section whenever Zoltan punts.
Amendment #5: I WILL WEAR MAIZE AT A MAIZE OUT
Okay, it's cool to go to Salvation army and find Michigan stuff from the 80's. You can wear whatever ridiculous sunglasses you want. You can even turn a men's XXL tshirt in to a dress. I don't care. But for maize out games, wear maize! (Even if you dress up as Waldo or Buzz Lightyear, you can still put on a maize shirt) If you don't have maize, wear yellow. But really, don't wear blue. Or black. Or grey. Or brown.
