“I’m pretty well respected in the lab by now, but if I were to tell them I’m a recovering addict, I don’t know how they would react.”

Keyes expressed that she had to work harder than most people in order to live a normal life, adding that she did not want to worry about the stigma of being an addict during the process.

“People’s general idea of an addict is some dude with a brown paper bag walking down the street in a gutter shooting up heroin or something,” she said. “That was never my life.”

Keyes explained that she was trying to portray the image of the addict in recovery and did not want to be compared with other types of addicts that are inactive and aren’t seeking recovery.

The students also shared several difficulties of living in Ann Arbor and attending the University, most notably the issue of being surrounded by a college environment that encourages alcohol consumption.

Keyes said she missed the nightlife and added that she lives with friends who still engage in alcohol consumption and other behaviors.

“There is alcohol in my freezer, and there are weed brownies chilling on the counter,” Keyes said.

As a freshman, Goldberg said not being able to go out to parties and engage in typical collegiate life last fall was tough at first.

“In the Notre Dame game, I saw people who were wild,” Goldberg said. “I was nearly in tears. I wanted to drink so badly, and I wanted to be part of it so badly.”

Goldberg said the presence of many young people in recovery at the University has been helpful, explaining that most people in the recovery program in his hometown were over 40.

“You can relate (with similar-aged peers) on so many levels,” he said. “It’s like I found a home.”

Cervi said she was surprised that in Ann Arbor, she could not drive two miles without running into another member of the Collegiate Recovery Program, which helped her stay on track when under pressure.

“It’s like a little secret society, it’s a powerful connection,” she said. “Sometimes, that’s all I need to feel.”

Smith agreed with Cervi, and said her connection to individuals in the program on campus keeps her from using substances. She also noted the tight-knit and supportive environment to be a big advantage.

“It’s reassuring to see U-M professors or other students working at the University while recovering from addiction,” she said. “If you want to get sober, all you need to do is ask for help, there will be people at your side.”

Students also expressed that the notion that one cannot have an “authentic college experience” without alcohol needs to change and that other students should also be open to talking about their experiences.

Keyes said she initially used alcohol as a social lubricant because the University has a significant party culture.

“You should not think that activities without alcohol are ‘lame,’” she said. “You don’t have to be drunk all day to have fun.”

Goldberg explained that though he initially did not want to be “that one guy” who broke the mood by refraining from drinking, he ultimately lost who he considered his best friends when he didn’t participate.

“You figure out who your true friends are,” he said. “The people in the program become your true friends.”

The panel of students emphasized that there does not need to be a grand aim in life to recover from addiction, but Cervi said after her recovery, she began to develop and exceed her goals.

“What recovery had given me is hope, the opportunity for possibilities, and trust for myself,” she said.