Welcome to the random student interview, where we make obvious observations to start awkward conversations.

I see you’re holding a Daily.

Yeah, it was in the Union so I picked up a copy.

Are you using it for warmth or kindling?

I actually read it.

So you’re not using it for shade?

No, I use it to find out what’s going on.

OK, awesome. I see people using it more to shield themselves as they run through the rain. It’s kind of a rare sight to see someone reading it.

That would be a good way to use it.

So, how’ve you been feeling? Have you come down with any one of the random things going around campus?

I don’t know.

Have you gotten sick or anything like that?

Oh! No!

Do you think there’s going to be some new strange strain of flu this year?

I hadn’t thought about that, but probably.

What do you think they’ll call it this time?

I don’t know. It’ll be named after whatever animal it came from.

Speaking of things named after animals, have you ever heard of a dance called The Cat Daddy?

No.

Apparently it’s kind of like a Dougie. But the Dougie is supposedly out, so no one will be able to teach me.

I have no idea what that is.

You don’t know what the Dougie is?

No.

It’s just some sort of dance craze. So what’s your favorite dance?

Hmmm … I don’t know very many. I only know the terrible ones, like the sprinkler or the shopping cart.

Have you been known to break out the sprinkler when the situation calls for it?

Yes. I have some moves in my repertoire.

Great … What’s your favorite season?

What’s my favorite season? Maybe spring.

What does spring smell like?

It just smells like life.

So what’s your favorite smell?

Well, there’s probably not one absolute favorite. It probably depends on, you know, if I’m really hungry I’ll probably like the smell of food.

Yeah.

Other times I might like the smell of girls or something like that, you know.

Have you ever been caught smelling a girl?

Um, only when I have the right to be smelling a girl.

When do you have a right to be smelling her? Like she’s given you express permission to?

Yeah. Otherwise, no.

OK, I get you. So, what’s your position on plaid? I see you’ve broken out the green plaid shirt.

Oh yeah!

Flannel, am I right?

Yeah, it was a recommendation from my girlfriend. She was telling me I need some new clothes.

Oh OK, so plaid is still in?

Yeah, I guess it’s like kind of cool. This is my first time wearing this kind of style.

Really? A first-time plaid-er.

But I mean, I mostly got it because it’s comfortable and it’s warm.

What do you think about people who are still wearing shorts?

Yeah, I think that they are probably more tolerant of the cold than I am.

Where are you from originally?
I’ve lived in Michigan my whole life.

Do you think we’re going to see any more of summer?

Yeah, I think we’ll probably have a few more warm days.

Have you ever heard of an Indian summer?

Um, no.

Do you think it’s racist to call it that?

I’ve never heard of it.

I believe it’s where we get a few warm days after it’s gotten really cold.

Oh, yeah.

So have you started thinking about Halloween? What do you want to be for Halloween?

Yeah, I think I’m going to be Tuxedo Mask.