Did you hear? Disney made a movie based on its popular theme
park ride “The Haunted Mansion.” You might find that
amusing, but let me assure you that nothing in “The Haunted
Mansion” is humorous. “Mansion” is neither funny,
nor scary, nor even moderately creative. It is a one-hour-40-minute
bore-fest rife with worthless special effects and moronic
overacting.

Eddie Murphy, in perhaps his worst film since “The
Adventures of Pluto Nash,” stars as career-driven-dad Jim
Evers. In his relentless pursuit of clients, Evers unwittingly
leads his family to a cursed, ghost-filled mansion.

It’s too bad Murphy is not as career driven as his
character; he might have chosen not to take part in this awful
Disney creation. Murphy almost seems as if he has stopped trying to
be funny. His acting is so mundane he hardly elicits a smile, let
alone a laugh.

The rest of the cast is not much better, but at least they look
like they are trying. Marc John Jeffries (“The Tracy Morgan
Show”) and Aree Davis are mildly cute as the Evers children.
Wallace Shawn (“Clueless”) also injects some
lightheartedness into the film as a crotchety, old ghost.

Disney obviously poured all of its money into only two features
of this film: attracting Murphy and creating special effects.

Plot and script were definitely lower priorities.
“Mansion’s” story is as unimaginative as it is
boring. Evers must save his wife (Marsha Thomason, “Black
Knight”) from a ghost who believes that she is the
reincarnation of his dead fiancée. Meanwhile, the Evers
children help their bungling dad evade ghouls, skeletons and a
horribly unfunny talking head.

Were all of the funds used for special effects put to good use?
Unique special effects, after all, are the core of Disney’s
famed ride.

“Mansions’s” effects, however, fail to spark
the same imagination as those of the ride. Maybe it is just less
exciting to see the singing busts or ghostly paintings on screen,
but the magic of Disney simply does not find its way into this
film.

It’s a shame Disney chose to commercialize one of its most
famous attractions in this way. The idea seems silly, but if
“Pirates of the Caribbean” worked as a film (see DVD
review below), there is no reason that “The Haunted
Mansion” could not have fared as well.

The movie simply has too little imagination to be entertaining.
My advice: Skip this film, buy a ticket to Orlando and take
“The Haunted Mansion” ride. Hopefully, you will still
be there when Disney decides to make the film version of
“It’s A Small World.”

Rating: 1 star.