Think back on all those nights when you had a few too many drinks and the ability to self-censor was gone. You call a cab, and you expect that the driver will regard you with the same indifference that you do them.

"When people get into the car, they don't know who we are," said Linda, an Ann Arbor cab driver who would only speak on the condition of anonymity. "They make this assumption of what our intellectual capabilities are and what our limitations are."

But the cab drivers that circulate the Ann Arbor area have your number, University of Michigan student. And they had a lot to say about you.

The Best and Brightest

Daryl Johnson, who moved to Ann Arbor this year, has been working for Yellow Cab for about a month. In that short time he's been around the block more than once. So far, he says, he's been impressed by the academic achievements of the people he drives around.

"I am just amazed all day long at the caliber of students at the University of Michigan," he said. "I have met some amazingly bright people here. And it makes me think, you know what? This world's gonna be alright."

On the whole, students seem to make good customers, but there's more backseat debauchery you than you might think - especially around closing time. Johnson, who doesn't drive late at night, misses that side of student nightlife.

"I take 'em to the club and then I'm ready to go home," he said.

The experience is different for other, more seasoned drivers.

Linda says she has seen a side of University students that makes her more pessimistic.

She's met graduates of the University's medical and law schools who act more like Miss Teen South Carolina than a doctor or a lawyer.

"Everybody thinks they're here on their superior intellect, but that's not true," Linda said. "There are a lot of students who are here, not necessarily because they're the best and brightest. They're here because their parents have a big-ass pocketbook."

The hookup

Driving the nightshift isn't all bad, though.

"A lot of (the passengers) are really fun and entertaining, whether they know it or not," said Bruce Nielson, a driver for Yellow Cab.

Nielson said he often hears snippets of locker-room talk while driving students around at night. It's late, it's the weekend, and many of the conversations revolve around the one thing always on the typical college-student mind: hooking up.

"You try to pin them down as to what exactly hooking up means," Nielson said. "I still don't know."

The common perception may be that men are the predatory gender, with sex constantly on the brain, but cab drivers know this isn't the case.

"The girls are just as bad as the guys are," said 15-year Yellow Cab veteran Alex Persu.

He said that while groups of men he drives speak frankly about their opinions of potential "dance-partners" and their intentions for them, the groups of bar-bound women often divulge even more intimate details.

And while the single guys may have a lot to say about how the night will end up on the way there, Persu said the cab conversations are much different on the way back.

"The girl dictates everything that goes on once they get in the cab," he said. "It's all 'Yes honey. Yes baby. Where do you wanna go? Sure, no problem.' It's definitely a woman's world after 2 a.m."

Although the TV show "Taxi Cab Confessions" may suggest otherwise, but Persu said the couples keep it tame - for the most part.

"There's been some couples that have gotten to second and third base," he said. "But they usually get out before they go all the way."

Dazed and confused

Although he's seen plenty of wild things in his cab, Persu says he's never kicked a passenger out or refused to someone ride. That's impressive because, judging from the number of people Persu says can handle their alcohol, it seems like it would be wise to start screening customers.

Persu said a passenger in his cab vomits about once a shift, and he's the one who has to clean it up.

"It really ruins your night," he said.

Johnson said the worst for him are Football Saturdays.

"That's when I think, some of these folks ain't gonna make it," he said.

After a point, the rowdy routine ceases to be amusing.

"If I had a snapshot of the idiots that get in here, it would be that they're drunk and they need help," Linda said. "But do I use that in conversation and treat them badly? No. But they do that to me."

Bad backseat behavior

Linda says she has no problem kicking students out of her cab.