This summer, speculation on a box-office slump went from a Hollywood conspiracy theory to the national spotlight as news outlets everywhere reported on high-profile bombs from “Kingdom of Heaven” to “The Island,” “Bewitched” to “Stealth,” which collectively led to the weakest summer in revenue since 1997. And so the era when a full slate of Jessica Albas and Michael Bay movies and Batmobiles could win summer moviegoers over was no more. But summer ’05 wasn’t a total wash.There was a myriad of celebrity gossip (Russell Crowe beats concierge with telephone! Tom Cruise takes Katie Holmes hostage!), people spent more than a month in line for a single film and a long-dormant franchise was reborn with one of the most accomplished comic-book movies ever. The months flew by, but not all of it is in a haze. If you didn’t go to the movies this summer, here’s what you missed (or didn’t miss) at the multiplex.

Crowe angry! Crowe smash!

Russell Crowe scored three Oscar nominations in as many years, headlined two Best Picture winners and rose from critically lauded obscurity to A-list sex god. Now, he’s a surly bully with a movie bomb and at least 30 extra pounds. Crowe kicked off his PR nightmare this year by decrying actors Harrison Ford and Robert DeNiro for hawking international products, thereby violating their “fucking social contract” (Rousseau would be so proud), only to trump himself by allegedly assaulting a hotel worker with a telephone. His reprieve should have come with the well-reviewed “Cinderella Man.” Sadly, the movie, otherwise known as “Seabiscuit 2,” probably would have done better if the horse boxed and the moody Aussie was put out to sleep.

Sex gags rule

It’s been years since Hollywood scared itself into an MPAA-sanctioned corner of “clean” comedy — where it’s OK to have sex so long as it is a frantic, 30-second embarrassment in a cramped space — but this summer the crude finally ruled again. Sure, “Monster-in-Law” and “The Longest Yard” drew crowds, but neither of them had anything on the R-rated “Wedding Crashers,” the almost-$200-million comedic behemoth that outgrossed action flicks that cost five times as much to make. And now, with a leggy run for “The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” it’s clear that the R-rated comedy is here to stay. It’s a moment to cherish for 15-year-old boys everywhere: The T&A they have been so rudely deprived of since the “American Pie” heyday is now just a casual sneak in away.

Penguins, Moore-lite

America’s love affair with documentaries continued with the little French nature documentary that could “March of the Penguins,” which became one of the season’s biggest surprises. Audiences were also charmed by watching inner-city preteens get dance lessons (“Mad Hot Ballroom”), energized by fast-paced hip-hop routines (“Rize”) and had their adrenaline pumped up a notch thanks to some quadrapalegics playing an unlikely extreme sport (“Murderball”). And here’s the most exciting part: People went to see these movies even though Michael Moore had nothing to do with them. (Contrary to popular belief, he wasn’t one of the plumper penguins.)

Show’s over

The sight of Jessica Simpson washing a car in nothing but that skimpy pink bikini might be the only reason that the critically mauled “Dukes of Hazard” raked in more than $30 million in its opening weekend. The fact that all those boys too shy for Internet porn spent their allowance on Simpson’s airbrushed legs as soon as possible might explain the enormous second-weekend dip that ensured the Good Ol’ Boys were a one-weekend wonder. Meanwhile, Nicole Kidman’s long-awaited “Bewitched” proved less than magical, while audiences jilted “The Honeymooners” at the cinematic altar. But all puns aside, people, please stop making these movies.

Explosions lose their bang