Random: Hello?

The Michigan Daily: Hi, is Alexander there?

R: Yes, this is Alex, hey.

TMD: This is Josh from the Michigan Daily.

R: What’s up, Josh?

TMD: I’m calling for the Random Student Interview in the Weekend Magazine. Do you have a couple minutes?

R: Oh, fuck yeah! I mean, freak yeah, I do.

TMD: Alright, fantastic. We’re gonna get off to a wild start then. The question on everyone’s mind then, is: What did you do for Spring Break?

R: I went to London, actually.

TMD: What was in London?

R: My girlfriend, who is studying abroad. Well, she’s not studying a broad because she’s a heterosexual woman. Hahaha … oldest joke in the book, sorry.

TMD: What was the craziest thing you did over Spring Break?

R: Umm, I missed a bus. I don’t know if that’s really exciting. I ran like two miles to find out that I was like 20 minutes late and everyone made it anyway.

TMD: Was it one of those crazy, double decker red buses in London?

R: Yeah it was, although it wasn’t red. It had this big guy on it. It’s called Mega Bus, the company, and the guy looked like a pig. It was really funny because he’s yellow, pink and round and looks like a pig, but it’s a dude.

TMD: I think that’s pretty crazy. That suffices.

R: The bus was crazy. I don’t know if my running for it was crazy enough, but the bus was.

TMD: So we’ve entered the month of March. What do you think of the month of March?

R: It’s good. It’s got 31 days. I have to give it props for that.

TMD: What about the Ides of March. Do you beware those?

R: Yeah, I do. I’m actually a classics major, so the Ides of March is kind of like a personal holiday.

TMD: So you actually know what that means?

R: Yeah, I do.

TMD: Please, enlighten me.

R: Alright, well the Ides is the 15th of the calendar month of the Roman calendar. There’s also the Nomes which is the fifth day of the month. And the calendar of the month is the first day of the month.

TMD: What about March Madness?

R: March Madness is the best time of the year. Except for maybe like football, but as far as basketball goes.

TMD: Do you have the fever yet?

R: I do have the fever. I’ve had the fever since I was born.

TMD: So the March weather. It kind of sucks.

R: Yeah it does. Good for flying kites, when it’s warm, but it dropping 30 degrees in six hours today, I mean…..

TMD: Did you step in any of those March puddles that we had today? I know I walked through a couple and I had to hang my socks up on my chair so they would dry when I got home.

R: The water goes right through my shoes. It’s really sad. And I don’t have any boots. I think the puddles are better than the slush river that is State Street sometimes in February. So I’m looking forward to more puddles, less slush river.

TMD: I think it might not be bad to invest in those big, yellow galoshes that you see on Sesame Street when you’re six.

R: Yeah, and the huge rubber ducky umbrella. That would be hot, too.

TMD: I’m a little disturbed. Well if you were going to color your hair a color of the rainbow, which color would you pick?

R: Fuchsia.

TMD: I don’t think that’s a color in the rainbow.

R: Name colors in the rainbow then.

TMD: Red, blue, violet. It’s that whole Roy G. Biv spectrum.

R: OK, Roy G. Biv? I’ll go with violet then. Because that’s almost fuchsia. Fuchsia is in the indigo/violet/red range.

TMD: Whatever works for you. I’m sure you’d look fabulous in fuchsia.

R: Thank you.

TMD: So Martha Stewart just got out of jail.

R: Yeah she did.

TMD: Do you think that she was the bitch in jail, or did she make somebody else her bitch?

R: (Silence)

TMD: It’s a tough question, I know.

R: It is a tough call because I feel like she would have made her own soap so if she dropped the soap on the floor, she would make the other people in the jail pick it up. She’s always hit me as very masculine. Even despite that “Saturday Night Live” thing where she just had the collars and her boobs. So I’m pretty sure she made others her bitch.

TMD: OK.

R: And now that she’s under house arrest, I don’t even know what’s going to happen.

TMD: She is back on the market though, so would you trust her to decorate your wedding if you just gave her a blank check?