Random: Hello?

The Michigan Daily: Hi, Michelle.

R: Hi.

TMD: Hi, I’m calling from The Michigan Daily, and you’ve been selected to do this week’s Random Student Interview.

R: Oh, jeez.

TMD: Do you want to do it?

R: Uh, sure.

TMD: All right, are you sure?

R: Yeah, why not?

TMD: First question: How are you, and how was your weekend?

R: Good, and it was good.

TMD: What did you do?

R: I went to South Haven.

TMD: Cool. What did you do there?

R: I hang out with my 60-year-old aunt.

TMD: Haha, that’s cool. Whatever works.

R: Yeah, haha.

TMD: All right, let’s move on to the real questions. What were the cooler little kid books: The Berenstein Bears or Amelia Bedelia?

R: Berenstein Bears.

TMD: Did you read those when you were a kid?

R: Yeah, I don’t know about Amelia whoever.

TMD: Oh, she was pretty cool, too, but nothing when compared to the bears. So my question is this: What was up with the names Sister and Brother Bear? Couldn’t they come up with something a little more original?

R: I guess not. Wasn’t the mom’s name Mama Bear, too, or something?

TMD: Yeah, and the papa was Papa Bear.

R: Probably so kids wouldn’t get confused.

TMD: I guess so. If you were naming Sister and Brother Bear now, what names would you give them?

R: All I remember about them is that one had a pink bow and … I don’t know what I would name them. No clue.

TMD: Fair enough. So baseball started this week. Were you excited about it?

R: Not really. My boyfriend watches it all the time. I don’t really care.

TMD: What are the bases in a physical relationship? Like first base … second base …

R: I guess first base is just kissing and second base is French kissing.

TMD: OK, what’s third base?

R: You know … I remember this from high school, and now I can’t remember.

TMD: Wait, did they teach this in high school?

R: Hahaha, I don’t think they teach it in class, but it’s common knowledge and then when you come here, they forget about it all.

TMD: Yeah, that’s what happened with me.

R: Yeah.

TMD: So what’s third base?

R: Third base? I guess going all the way … no that’s home run … I guess I don’t remember.

TMD: I guess you weren’t a very good baserunner.

R: Not in high school, I guess.

TMD: Hahaha. Did you hear that 93.1 is now DOUG-FM?

R: No.

TMD: Well, it is, and I think it’s the greatest name for a radio station ever. What do you think?

R: It works, I guess. It kind of sounds stupid.

TMD: No, I think it’s good because there aren’t a lot of things named after Doug. Are there a lot of famous things named after your name?

R: Oh, there’s a Beatles song?

TMD: What song is that?

R: “Michelle, My Love” song. I don’t know if that’s the title.

TMD: Oh, OK …

R: You know that song, don’t you?

TMD: No, how does it go?

R: It’s French. It has like French parts. I’m not going to sing it! It says … you don’t know that song? It’s like “Michelle, my bell” and then it goes into French.

TMD: Oh, out, oui, I guess. What band should make a comeback: Limp Bizkit or Hootie and the Blowfish?

R: Well, I was guilty of seeing Limp Bizkit back in high school, so I guess I’d say them.

TMD: Nice. Very nice. What ever happened to Fred Durst?

R: He said too many bad things about people, I guess. Nobody likes him anymore.

TMD: Did anybody used to like him?

R: In my high school, yeah. We used to weightlift to them all the time.

TMD: Did you see Hootie on those Burger King commercials?

R: Yeah, that’s terrible! I didn’t believe it was him at first.

TMD: Yeah, that’s kind of a bad move for his career.

R: That’s horrible.

TMD: Here’s a question: Why does every college athlete look about 10 years older than I am?

R: They might be!

TMD: Hahaha.

R: Maybe they have different genes than normal people?

TMD: Yeah, maybe. Did you do school projects when you were in grade school?

R: Yeah.

TMD: What was the dumbest school project you ever did?

R: When I was in, like, fifth grade, we had to make a model of atoms or something, and we built stuff out of wood and that was really stupid.