"Any publicity is good publicity." This saying takes precedence in Hollywood more than anywhere else. Scandals sell records, bring in audiences and put you on the tongues of celebrity magazine editors. But there's a point, when actions, outrageous or not, can start to overshadow accomplishments and derail the careers of those desperate for attention (see Ben Affleck).

The biggest news to come from one of these ubiquitous celebs leaked out of England, where Whitney "I make too much money to use crack" Houston's sister-in-law provided photographs to the Sun newspaper of the high queen of soul's supposed drug den.

Filthy, covered with half-empty crack vials and strewn with garbage, Houston's post-binge bathroom can't really come as a shock considering her increasingly erratic behavior, which itself is worthy of an after-school special.

Honestly, when it gets to the point where the only hits she gets are in her bathroom, and Bobby Brown is the stable one in the relationship, there might be a problem.

Not to be outdone, model Naomi Campbell, fresh off the revelation of her own coke-fueled tryst with rehab poster-child Kate Moss, got herself in the in news as well. The darker, more feminine version of Russell Crowe overshadowed her previous assault charges - including attacking a flight attendant and store clerk - by throwing her crystal-encrusted Blackberry at her housekeeper's head - causing a 4-inch gash because she couldn't find Campbell's jeans.

Really, I don't know what she's complaining about. I remember that one time in Milan when Heidi Klum threw off her Victoria's Secret diamond bra and I definitely didn't have a problem with that.

On a related legal note, what are the odds of "I'm 'N Luv (Wit a Stripper)" getting any play within five miles of the Duke campus?

Critical accusations not quite at the Duke level were hurled at media darling Gwyneth Paltrow after the pregnant actress was seen drinking on multiple occasions. Her supporters defended initial reports of her downing a post-St. Patrick's Day Guinness with statements about the beer's iron content actually helping babies' development. Paltrow was later seen drinking a glass of wine, however, setting off a series of hushed criticism from the "Sex and the City" crowd still reeling from her breakup with Brad Pitt so many years ago.

But you know, fetal alcohol syndrome might not be so bad for the soon-to-be-named-after-a-fruit child. Consider it preparation for a lifetime of having to listen to her father's music.

- Mattoo bedazzles all his own bras. Share at mattoop@umich.edu.