Rejection hurts, even when it comes at the hands of a major retail store. A few months ago, Borders seemed like the perfect solution to my unemployment woes. The chain had opened a new location just two miles from my home, and a quick phone call revealed it was still hiring. As a history major and part-time music nerd, a semester surrounded by non-fiction books and CDs seemed like a great way to earn some cash. But, alas, my aspiring career as a minion in corporate America came to a close before it even began; the first and last step in the interview process took place on the Internet, courtesy of a company called Unicru.

Whether or not you recognize the name, Unicru should be familiar to anyone who has applied to retail giants like Best Buy, Blockbuster, and Circuit City. The Oregon-based software company is responsible for the personality tests that these and many other big-name corporations tack onto their online applications. The tests, sprawling over 20 pages and taking more than a half hour to complete, ask potential employees to respond to statements like, "It is maddening when the court lets guilty criminals go free." Based on how strongly the candidates agree or disagree, Unicru computes how capable they are of stocking shelves and manning cash registers.

If you think this sounds absurd, you're not alone. Attempting to get through Borders's test began to seem futile to me after about the 12th page. Every new ambiguously worded statement appeared to reference another one from a few pages back, quickly making the quiz cruelly redundant. What's worse, many of the issues raised by the test were entirely circumstantial. Admittedly, if you're not sure what kind of response the company is looking for to the line "you don't work too hard because it doesn't pay off anyway," you probably have bigger issues than just finding a part-time job. But what does it matter whether I'm "not afraid to tell someone off" or not? Depending on the circumstances, answering positively could make me either a model employee or an inconsiderate jerk.

For such a widely used technique, personality tests have a questionable reputation. For years, psychologists have debated the idea that human individuality can be reduced to several clearly defined variables. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, for example, has become an immensely popular hiring tool among Fortune 100 companies, even though it's been criticized for decades. And yet, Unicru assumes that it not only accurately describes an applicant's personality, but that one of its simplistic personality types neatly corresponds to a particular job as well.

The whole idea of a correct answer on a personality test is problematic to begin with. Unicru claims that its tests are designed to boost employee retention rates. A quick glance at its exam, though, makes it clear that the test does far more than that. The Unicru questionnaire focuses not just on honesty and discipline; its statements touch upon everything from an applicant's outgoingness to his or her relationship with friends. Taking this into account, the test screens potential delinquents and troublemakers, but also any person who doesn't live up to the company's ideal of a cheerful, trustworthy and submissive pawn. Tellingly, I don't know a single person who's passed it without blatantly lying.

The Unicru exam is particularly frustrating because the retail jobs it qualifies applicants for are far from rocket science. Talking to customers at Circuit City is a simple task that any semi-social person should be able to carry out successfully. And yet, armed with this new technique, companies now demand that potential workers exhibit idealized personality traits for even the simplest of tasks.

John Scarborough - who probably enjoys a comfortable and financially secure lifestyle in his position as Unicru's chief scientist - claims, "When you steer someone away from a job they wouldn't like, you've done them a favor." Now looking for alternate ways to pay for rent and tuition, I beg to differ.

Harun Buljina is the summer associate editorial page editor. He can be reached at buljinah@umich.edu