March 20, 2011 - 4:37pm
Online Diversions of the Week — 3/16/10
BY JEFF SANFORD
Hello America! I know you’ve all been sleeplessly awaiting the next fresh batch of my Online Diversion to tell you what to do with your free time. Well, I’m serving ‘em up hot and/or juicy, just the way you, America, likes it. Bon appetit, bitches.
Have you ever looked at a kitten and just wanted to run it through the dishwasher? You know, like nothing felonious or irreversibly damaging, just something to show the little guy what’s what? Well then you’re in luck, for I have just the thing for that twisted, spiteful soul of yours. Fuck You, Penguin is not just the name of the website, but also its mission statement. Its creator describes it as “A blog where I tell cute animals what’s what” (sound familiar?). His (her?) process goes like this: post a picture of an animal that’s popularly conceived of as cute (or just curious-looking), then take it down a few notches with a biting critique. Of the regal-looking Tibetan fox: “Have you ever seen such a holier-than-thou look on a non-dolphin before?” Finally the Tibetan fox gets its comeuppance! To see owls, silky hens and whales receive a similar roasting, give this site a peek (and purge those cat-washing fantasies, you freak).
Tibetan fox: What a douche
Here’s a two-for-one special Diversion for all those anal-retentive TV viewers out there:
AND
If you’re one of those people who relate to TV characters more than your own family, the integrity of your pathetic fantasy world is doubtless threatened by the absurd fact that Dr. Gregory House solves the most profound medical mysteries with nothing more than arbitrary fluid tests and witty banter. “HOUSE” Medical reviews is a website run by a real-life(!) doctor who spends an inordinate amount of time deconstructing “HOUSE” plots and picking out the, let’s say extensive, artistic liberties.
On a similar note, Michael Scott, intrepid branch manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, should be absently rocking back and forth in a minimum-security cell right now. That’s What She Said, a blog run by two actual attorneys, exposes the real-world implications of Scott’s blissfully ignorant managerial style. The two attorneys attach a dollar amount of litigation to each episode, along with other charges that could be leveled on the dysfunctional Scranton branch. Let’s just say Michael Scott is lucky to be a fictional character.
Well that’s all for this week. You’ve been diverted!
