April 5, 2011 - 2:09pm
OMG on TV — 1/8/09
BY BRIGID KILCOIN
The premiere season isn't yet in full swing; next week will undoubtedly bring dozens more forgettable sitcoms and low-budget reality shows that will get hastily canceled. Until then, we make do with an endless bevy of reruns and a few horrible new shows. Here are a few selected highlights (or "highlights") from the past week in television.
"Secret Life of the American Teenager" on ABC Family
Everyone Amy has ever met skips school and gets chased by the guidance counselor. Does this plot sound horribly uninteresting? Yes. Does the plot development of "Secret Life" make a glacial pace look speedy? Yes. Is "Secret Life" unintentionally the funniest show on television? Undoubtedly.
"Conveyor Belt of Love" on ABC
Also premiering on Monday night, ABC's speed dating show "Conveyor Belt of Love" shows the network is making great efforts to match ABC's Family's commitment to substantive, thoughtful programming. As the title promises, 30 men go by a group of five women on a literal conveyor belt; if one of the girls shows interest, the guy steps off the belt and into her waiting arms. ABC is clearly not even trying anymore.
"Ghost Hunters International" on Discovery
The team goes to Argentina to search for Hitler's ghost. Shockingly, they don't find it. I don't understand why are there are roughly seventy-four ghost-themed shows on Discovery/A&E/History at any given time, since nothing ever happens in any of them.
"Teen Mom" on MTV
Farrah begins to wonder if she should free up some time in her jam-packed schedule of yelling at her mother, tanning, and going on dates with random boys to spend more time with her daughter Sophia. Miracles do happen.
