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The Michigan hockey fan''s guide to Yost

BY THE MICHIGAN DAILY

Published October 3, 2001

When the phone rings at Yost:

Yell to the opposing goalie, "Hey goalie! It"s your mom! She says, YOU SUCK!"

When Michigan scores a goal:

Hold up the number of goals Michigan has with your fingers. If it has one, hold up one. After the band yells "Ready!", you yell "One! We want moooooooore goals!" Then point at the opposing goalie and yell, "sieve, sieve, sieve, sieve, sieve, sieve, sieve! It"s all your fault, it"s all your fault, it"s all your fault, it"s all your fault!"

When an opponent gets a penalty:

As the player skates to the box, wave at him and chant "oooooooohhhhhhh". As soon as he skates in, yell "SEE YA! Chump, dick, wuss, douchbag, asshole, prick, cheater, bitch, whore!"

If the opposing goalie takes off his mask:

As soon as he takes off his mask, start chanting "ugly goalie". As soon as he puts it back on, start cheering.

With 1:05 remaining in each period:

Yell "How much time is left!" The announcer will say "last minute to play in the period, last minute." Yell "thank you!" If you"re lucky, the announcer will say, "you"re welcome!"

When the opposing team scores:

When the visitors parents stand up to cheer, stand up and start chanting "Ugly Parents, Ugly Parents!"

To make fun of the opposing goalie anytime:

Yell "Hey (goalie"s name), you"re not a goalie, you"re a sieve! You"re not a sieve, you"re a funnel! You"re not a funnel, you"re a vacuum! You"re not a vacuum, you"re a black hole! You"re not a black hole, you just suck! you just suck! you just suck! you just suck!" Hopefully others will have joined you along the way.