Calm down. Take a deep breath. Now count to ten. Better? Good. Now take your NCAA Tournament bracket, throw it in a paper shredder, light the remains on fire, collect the ashes and sprinkle them over Crisler Arena where all things basketball are eventually ruined.

The first- and second- round action that transpired over the weekend resembled the movie “Titanic” in some fashions. The ship set sail in generally tranquil fashion. Simply put, you could describe it as boring.

Thursday’s first-round matchups went almost completely to script. A Wisconsin-Milwaukee upset over Alabama fulfilled the obligatory No. 12-over-a-No. 5 upset and whet the appetite for utter March Madness.

But everything that followed left a little to be desired. There were no crazy buzzer beaters or incomprehensible upsets. The Albuquerque region actually played out perfectly to seed, with no upsets after the first round of play. As good as it felt to finally have NCAA Tournament basketball back in season, you must have kept asking yourself, “When is this ship going to hit the iceberg? I want mass carnage!”

Be careful what you ask for.

When No. 13 Vermont beat No. 4 Syracuse on Friday night to spice up the tourney, most people weren’t complaining that things were finally getting exciting. When No. 14 Bucknell beat No. 3 Kansas later that night, some interested parties — probably with money or embarrassing house bets on the line — began to resent the fact that the carnage was taking place all over their brackets.

That carnage was at its worst Saturday night when Wake Forest and West Virginia gave us what will probably shake out to be the best game of the tournament. The No. 7-seeded Mountaineers were down 40-27 at halftime. Then, in one of those unexplainable moments of NCAA Tournament lore, they rattled off 50 points in the second half to force the Demon Deacons into overtime. Huh? Then they controlled Wake Forest in two overtime periods en route to a 111-105 win. Double huh?

And that was only part of the surprise. Following in the footsteps of players like Wally Szczerbiak and Bryce Drew, West Virginia’s Mike Gansey made himself a star — at least for now — solely from his miracle performance in the spotlight. He scored a career-high 29 points, 19 of which came in the two overtime periods.

After the dust finally cleared on the first weekend of madness, it’s completely likely that people have now lost at least two or three of the Final Four teams in their bracket. The losses of Syracuse, Kansas and Wake Forest may have done the job in some tournament pools, and N.C. State’s upset over Connecticut yesterday just helped seal the deal in the Syracuse region.

It’s unlikely that anyone has lost four teams. If you have, you probably picked Boston College in the Chicago region. Seriously, that is just unacceptable. You were probably losing already.

The ship may have collided with the iceberg, but this busted vessel might still come into port in relatively one piece — with its share of excitement along the way, of course.

All the No. 1 seeds are still alive and the clock has already struck midnight for Cinderellas Bucknell and Vermont. West Virginia is likely to take on the role as tournament darling and may actually have a real chance to advance — thanks to a busted half of the bracket in Albuquerque. The Mountaineers will take on the No. 6-seeded Texas Tech, and Bobby Knight is such a darling of college hoops. (Please note the sarcasm oozing off the page.)

And look at some of the possible matchups left. Duke-Kentucky? Love it. North Carolina-North Carolina State for state supremacy? So enticing. Duke-North Carolina for real state supremacy? Feel the goosebumps. Louisville-Kentucky for a lesser state’s supremacy and Rick Pitino’s homecoming? Someone pinch me.

But we all know that this upset thing is pretty cool, even if it ruins brackets. That’s why the dreamiest Final Four would probably involve Wisconsin-Milwaukee, West Virginia, North Carolina State and Utah. What? Did you have Bucknell beating Kansas? It could happen.