March 3, 2011 - 5:04pm
Grundler's Gears: Imbeciles in the library and what you can do about them
BY WILL GRUNDLER
Flashback:
Editor: Why don’t we call your blog “What grinds Grundler’s gears”?
Me: Wouldn’t that mean I’m angry all the time?
Editor: Well, how about just “Grundler’s Gears”?
Me: Doesn’t that sound stupid?
Editor: We’ll call it “Grundler’s Gears.”
Me: But I’m not a car.
Editor: Shut up.
Flash-forward:
I really am angry all the time. It’s terrible. I’m afraid I’m going to become like those people who stand in the street yelling about how everyone will burn in hell for all eternity, not just some of it.
Now, should we conclude from this that imbeciles in the library should have to suffer in hell? Of course not. At least, probably not. It could depend on what books they’re reading. I don’t know.
But what I do know is that the situation is becoming intolerable. By “intolerable” I mean that I got annoyed during a recent incident and am about to exaggerate.
The incident happened like this: I went to the UGLi to learn a new concept called studying, and the brothel of a library had its usual cast of seedy characters frolicking about this way and that, talking, laughing, reading erotic books and dancing barefoot.
I hurried to the Graduate Library to find peace in the Reference Room, only to be met with an overwhelming silence that — if you look really close into the eyes of the wraith-like students there — translates roughly to: “You are impure animal filth, please leave now.” I foolishly asked one student if the chair next to her was occupied or not and she kicked me in the shin.
Now, I’m obviously exaggerating. This wasn’t a recent incident. This has been happening for three years, ever since I came here. It’s probably happened to you, too. What’s to be done about it? Can an actually good place to study be found, one where the people aren’t too boisterous, or too severely quiet?
No. Sorry for the inconvenience. The answer is to not study. Or study in your room. Did you honestly think you were going to find a nice little answer to life’s library problems at the end of this blog? I’ve tried for three years. Don’t tell ME about libraries. Get lost. Get lost in a library! Ha ha!
Editor’s Note: If you think this blog should be retitled “What Grinds Grundler’s Gears,” or simply dismantled and forgotten about for the good of humanity, please leave a comment.
