Any film that has an opening shot of a 300-pound man's shaggy ass crack is begging for trouble.

It's amazing: Not only is "Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector" among the least funny films in quite some time, but it's also quite possibly the most bigoted. Every minority group is fair game in the simple-minded path of main character Larry: female, elderly, homosexual, overweight, mentally challenged, handicapped, Arab, Chinese, African-American, Jewish - Larry takes just 89 minutes to gleefully ridicule them all.

Building off the success of his involvement in the "Blue Collar Comedy Tour," Larry is a health inspector with a knack for quickly shutting down filthy restaurants (real clever because, well, he is filthy). To get the film going, Larry gets involved in a big case involving food poisoning. But it could probably stop about there, because the rest of the movie pivots around Larry's chauvinistic behavior, with beer and farts aplenty.

A health inspector who's unwaveringly crude and disgusting, Larry is compelled to wander into highbrow eateries. Ironic storytelling at it's best.

"Larry the Cable Guy" brings great cockiness in its feature film debut. It's as though he lives in an alternate universe where no one will really question his crassness or overbearing arrogance. And when Larry's boss points out these flaws, Larry punches him in the throat, literally crushing the only voice of reason in this film.

When Larry keeps calling his female partner a man, and puts up a billboard stating that she's a "fag," it's just not funny. Maybe it takes a certain moviegoer to delight in debasing homosexuality and throwing around derogatory terms, but I'd guess most audiences will be more offended than amused.

Not that a movie can't find humor in racial tension and social awareness - "Harold & Kumar" and "The Birdcage" pulled it off neatly - but these films demonstrate the need for understanding and an informed sense of humor egregiously absent in "Health Inspector."

A lot of great comedic talent is wholly wasted by pandering to stereotypes. Poor Tony Hale (TV's "Arrested Development") is relegated to slumming for cheap laughs in a wheelchair. David Koechner ("Anchorman") hurts himself a lot, hoping people might laugh at his retarded character playing with a ball. Hilarity never allows itself to ensue.

"Health Inspector" is just plain vulgar and vicious. Remember the film at the end of the year, because it will be deserving of recognition. At least by the Razzies. The movie may well have the dubious honor of being even worse than last year's irredeemable "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo." That film was 15 minutes shorter.

Rating: 0.5 out of 5 stars