Kissing summer goodbye is one of the hardest obstacles that Michigan students have to face. Not only does the onset of fall promise colder, harsher days, but it also brings the spree of beachy parties and nights of inebriated bliss to a homework-laden halt.

Well, the beachy parties definitely end. And Welcome Week is just about the final chance to be dazed and confused. Following this comes the onslaught of anal professors, the daily routine of waking up before noon and coursepacks with incredibly small print.

Grasping that fall is not summer is a disappointment I face annually. While there are apples and mad Halloween costume parties to look forward to, October is decidedly less exciting than June. For example, the sun comes out in June. There is an ice cream truck in June. And June has cool-ass parties. October in Ann Arbor does not offer these things.

I sympathize with the nave reader who, until this point, has been unable to recapture those balmy days now past.

This reader has not yet realized his or her full summery party potential. So, for those of you in need of a makeover for those nippy Friday nights, here is a list of essential summertime party favors that you can use to convert your boring October get-together to an all-out bash.

Summer is warm. Your party needs to be warm. Hot environments are conducive to fewer clothes. Now, you may be asking yourself, "What can I do to achieve that humid, muggy feel in my house, apartment or dorm room?" Luckily, you"ve come to the right column. You can: use space heaters effectively turn on all stoves, toaster ovens and clothes dryers close windows and course, close all doors. Presto! It is now a sauna in your very own living quarters. People will be stripping in no time at all. Less clothing is equivalent to more sex. And we all know that somewhere in the heart of every party-hopping co-ed is the hope that a dream date will be waiting, half-naked, at the swingin" destination. Another way to minimize clothing is to call the party a luau or have a toga party. Taking a cue from the classic film Animal House, this classic is an opportunity to have fun and meet people in a suitably scandalous costume. The sheet is already provided, so immediately you are halfway there. Any of these above courses of action will considerably diminish the amount of barrier clothing.

Somehow water is always involved in the warmer months. You"ve got the Pacific Ocean. You"ve got Lake Michigan. You"ve got the Huron River. People will get wet. In the winter, if people are wet, it is because they had to wade through a foot of slush to get to their destination of choice. In the summer everyone is always drenched by choice. Unfortunately, there are only a few water-related schemes that I can recall which still work in the fall. One involves a hose. Another involves squirt guns filled with water alternatives. Some people might say, "Hey! Get a hot tub for your party." Do not listen to these people. They are wrong. Remember everything your mother ever said about the unsanitary nature of college. Multiply that by 10, add some obscure bodily fluids, and you have a hot tub party. We do not know what or, more importantly, who, has been (Well, what are you technically supposed to do?) "sitting" in a hot tub. There is always the IM building, I guess. Or a shower. Hmmm.

People are tan in the summer. You should be tan, too. We all know that in order to get any play at all, you must have that "I spend at least 2 hours a day in the sun" glow. This effect can be achieved through: a) lots and lots of bronze b) a package to the salon Tanfastic, which is conveniently located right off of Packard or c) Coppertone Sunless Tanning Cream, which is available at the Meijer conglomerate that we all know and love. Your chances for summer-esque action will greatly increase if you look appropriately sporty. Just think of "Baywatch." Not only are all of the actors and actresses tan, but they also all have mad amounts of hook-ups and parties. And "Baywatch" was the most popular TV show in the planet for over a decade. Being that the media is such an influence on society, everyone who has ever seen "Baywatch" will be inclined to follow suit. Then again, the mass public appeal might just have been David Hasselhoff.

People have no real responsibilities during the summer. We have jobs. We travel. We go to the beach. The "I have no real responsibilities" attitude greatly contributes to the relaxed atmosphere of a party. Winter parties are a drag because everyone who returns knows that they have to read 200 pages of "Don Quixote" and then do five calculus. problems sometime within the next day. Thus, they are going be all apprehensive and boring at the party. Even if they do intake a few tasty alchoholic beverages, the thought of deadlines and papers lurking around the corner will dull down the dancing and the friendliness of all party attendees.