Published December 4, 2003
1. The Black Album, Jay-Z — Let’s just hope
he doesn’t make a Black Album2.
More like this
2. The Singles 1992-2003, No Doubt — It’d be
called Greatest Hits but that would imply the music is in some way
great.
3. In the Zone, Britney Spears — And for the
longest time I thought “The Zone” was a diet, but now I
see it is just a plan for suck.
4. Metamorphosis, Hillary Duff — Haha, her name is
‘Duff.’ Designated Ugly Fat Friend. Thanks,
“Average Joe.”
5. NOW That’s What I Call Music!, Various Artists
— I wonder if there will come a day when Hillary and Britney
are among the “various artists.”
6. Shock’n Y’all, Toby Keith —
Thanksgiving. Football. Cowboys. Halftime. Toby Keith. Which of the
above won’t be around in two years?
7. Closer, Josh Groban — And people say mothers
don’t buy CDs anymore.
8. Beg for Mercy, G-Unit — I’d like the Jay-Z
Mercedes with the G-Unit rims to go with it. Now that’s the
ride.
9. Take a Look in the Mirror, Korn — Since no list
would be complete without a Paris Hilton reference and this CD
deserves no press, here it is, your obligatory PH reference.
10. Speakerboxxx/The Love Below, OutKast — Wesley
Clark’s running-mate for 2004 has been narrowed down to three
options: Andre, Big Boi or Governor Dick Kempthorne of Idaho.
