For this week's SportsMonday Column, various Daily staffers stayed in the Spring Break mood and got together to come up with a "ramblings" piece. Please don't be offended, because we really don't want to have to read the Opinion section if you guys write angry letters about us.

Why was the Duke/North Carolina game on every channel imaginable? It's not like it was the State of the Union or anything. ...

JJ Redick is far too ugly to have one camera on him for a minute, let alone having about 50 on him for half a night. ...

And we're convinced that Tyler Hansbrough is about five years away from being able to see an R-rated movie.

Kirby Puckett suffered a stroke yesterday, which was shocking news. Kirby Puckett is still alive?!?

Phil Mickelson handed a fan $200 after breaking his watch with an errant approach shot . looks like his snack machine budget got cut in half for the day.

Mike Martz recently gave his vote of confidence to Joey Harrington for the upcoming NFL season. Maybe he's not a meat and potatoes guy, either, if you know what we mean.

Speaking of old guys with bad tickers, don't go quail hunting with Dick Cheney.

Actually, if your name is Stuart Scott, go ahead and go hunting with the guy. It will be best for all involved.

Has anyone heard the hot new "Measly Penny" single? You know it has to be pretty bad when its lyrics make Brent Petway look like a musical genius.

Vince Young managed to score just a 6 on the Wonderlic test. What does that say about Jim Herrmann?

Did you know Jerome Bettis is from Detroit?

Does anyone want to buy an NCAA Tournament ticket? Some staffers got a little excited and bought a ticket early, forgetting who Michigan's coach was.

Which reminds us . Tommy Amaker might be the answer, after all. But the question would have to be "who isn't the right coach for Michigan?"

Does the softball team understand the season started yet?

And while we're on the subject of underachieving teams at Michigan, someone needs to wake Red Berenson up at his nursing home and let him know they might want to start winning now ... I guess he was taking notes during Ronald Reagan's presidency.

The women's basketball team is almost as bad as the Knicks. Luckily, the Wolverines don't have a first-round pick to trade away.

Excited about the World Baseball Classic? You must not live in America.

For those of you who enjoyed watching curling during the Winter Olympics, we have good news for you. The Summer Olympics just announced a new sport - watching grass grow.

Michelle Kwan, at least Bode Miller has an excuse for not winning gold medals, you quitter.

Do you think JJ Redick ever slips dirty messages to Adam Morrison when they're playing Halo 2 together during the wee hours of the night?

And Maize Rage, we'll save you the trouble, every loss for the rest of the year was the referees' fault.