November 16, 2011 - 7:11pm
Upgrade/Downgrade: Reality TV
BY LAURA ARGINTAR
It’s hard not to have a favorite reality television show when almost every network features a reality series. But in the wide world of reality television, there are a lot of programs that make me wonder “Who really watches this?” In trying to “keep it real,” here’s this week’s Upgrade/Downgrade.
Upgrade: Good Reality TV — is there anything better?
1. Jersey Shore: OK, definitely most obvious. MTV was on its way to the decline with the tired “Real World” and “True Life: I’m Really Boring,” when the Jersey Shore phenomenon hit. The Jersey Shore is more than just eight guidos and a hot tub — it’s eight hilariously outrageous guidos and an unpredictable-guess-who’s-in-the-hot-tub. People who do not watch Jersey Shore either A lack a sense of humor or B think they are too sophisticated to watch people with names like “Snooki” and “The Situation” as they get drunk every night. And using the excuse “I can’t watch because it’s on a Thursday and I go out Thursday nights” doesn’t count because it’s on On Demand. Who knows how much longer this reality series will last, but do yourself a favor and watch it before you’re too old for it, bro.
2. Top Chef/Iron Chef: Top Chef is a no-brainer. After winning two Emmy’s the show has gained immense notoriety. Iron Chef follows the same premise as well, with prominent, talented chefs competing for the coveted title. I understand how these series might sound unappetizing for those who do not enjoy “cooking” shows. However, as someone who hates the Food Network (especially people who run on the treadmill while watching it), I must admit I find these programs both fascinating and entertaining. It is quite remarkable what chefs can create from food. The only downside: Not being able to taste the end result.
Downgrade: Bad Reality TV — is there anything else on?
1. The Kardashians: I know many will argue this point (or maybe not, given Kim’s recent divorce), however, The Kardashians are one of the most boring, obnoxious, asinine shows on television. I actually feel dumber after watching one episode. Perhaps I don’t understand the appeal? What is entertaining about a father who can’t wink his eye after two facelifts, a washed-up mother, a chick with a fat ass, another chick with a fat ass and their sister who gave birth and now, she has a fat ass? They are the quintessential example of people who are famous for being famous, and I refuse to support it.
2. Anything on TLC: “19 Kids and Counting” makes me reconsider having children, let alone getting pregnant. Anytime I flip through the channels and see that show I automatically recoil in horror at the cruel science experiment the Duggars are conducting: How many kids can I produce before my vagina rips in two? Similarly, just hearing Buddy Valastro’s heavy accent on “Cake Boss” reminds me of nails on a chalkboard. What’s the point of making something out of cake if you’re going to use screws and Styrofoam thus rendering it inedible? “Toddlers & Tiaras” is probably the cruelest series on television. Finally, “What Not to Wear” is probably reality television’s biggest failure. This is the only show where contestants actually look better before they won a makeover. Word to Stacey London and Clinton Kelly: Not everyone looks good with a short haircut!
