MD

2012-09-17

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October 16, 2012 - 10:05pm

The Rules: Fall 2012

BY KAITLIN WILLIAMS

no. 407: When Wolverine Access is down on the first day of school, classes should be cancelled.

no. 408: If more than five people are walking to a party together, they’re freshmen.

no. 409: Meet the neighbors before it’s too awkward to meet the neighbors.

no. 410: Syllabus week is over. Getting drunk on weekdays has just begun.

no. 411: If Rick’s closes down, then peeps be gettin' down on da streets.

no. 412: You will see your roommate’s bare ass at some point. Embrace the inevitability.

no. 413: It’s OK to not know what the song “Gangnam Style” is about. It’s not OK to not like it.

no. 414: The best part about away games is you can keep drinking while you watch.

no. 415: It’s practically fall. Break out the scarves and bring on the hickeys.

no.416: We get it: the weather sucks. Talk about something more interesting, like fossils.

no.417: Response papers are the herpes of assignments: they won’t go away and everyone has them.

no.418: Say goodbye to the feeling in your fingertips now. It won’t be back until late April.

no. 419: Yes, putting the header on your eight-page paper counts as an accomplishment.

no. 420: I was going to make this rule about marijuana, but then I lost all motivation...

no. 421: The “W” on your transcript does not stand for “Win.”

no.422:Playing a drinking game during the debate doesn’t make you politically aware.

no. 423:“Fall Break” is code for “Here are two extra days to not study for your midterms.”

no. 424: “Studying for midterms” is the best excuse to avoid your family this weekend.

no. 425: Now that Fall “Study” Break is over, we can get back to work.

no. 426: Republicans do P-90X. Democrats do Bikram Yoga.

no. 427: It’s OK to be excited about the course guide coming out, just don’t tell anyone.


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