March 27, 2012 - 8:44pm
The Rules: 2012
BY THE STATEMENT STAFF
rule 374: It's 2012. Better drink up those peppermint mochas before the world ends.
rule 375: Donate old ratty clothes to charity; buy new ratty clothes at Urban Outfitters.
rule 376: With a new year comes a new opportunity to never use the word 'Occupy' again.
rule 377: On a weekly basis, odds are that Republican debates will be funnier than "SNL."
rule 378: 50 degrees in January? If this is the apocalypse, maybe 2012 won’t be so bad.
rule 379: Ivy Blue is not a Crayola color; it’s the second coming.
rule 380: Dropping COMM 101 will not impact your future career. Make the call.
rule 381: MLK Day is not an excuse to play house music until 4 a.m.
rule 382: Parents just reviewed your finances. Say hello to pasta every night.
rule 383: Taking a Women's Studies class does not necessarily lead to getting a girlfriend.
rule 384: The third Monday in January is the saddest day of the year. But nowhere to go but up!
rule 385: Facebook is not going to stop changing. So get a better cover photo.
rule 386: No one is ever thinkin' Arby's.
rule 387: Puppy-dog eyes won't get the bus driver to open the door.
rule 388: Don't get mad at yourself for skipping the gym. Girls don't like inflated guys.
rule 389: Madonna was touched for the very first time roughly three decades ago.
rule 390: The Oscar is the only trophy that matters in February. Sorry, Eli Manning.
rule 391: Don't think people are going to take to the streets again if Obama gets re-elected.
rule 392: MTV Spring Break is not at the same time as the University’s spring break.
rule 393: Midterms are not half as hard as finals.
rule 394: The Internet is trying to offend you personally by not working.
rule 398: College students know more about the history of St. Fratty's Day than St. Patty's Day.
rule 399: The Holy Grail is easier to find than a paid summer internship.
rule 400: The kid writing on a tablet with a stylus will most certainly make more money than you one day.
rule 401: "Call Me Maybe" is an amazing song.
rule 402: It's totally acceptable to listen to "Call Me Maybe" on repeat for an hour.
rule 403: People at your party will most likely NOT like your choreography for "Call Me Maybe."
