October 10, 2013 - 11:13am
BY ANDREW LIEBERMAN
The great Nelly once asked, “What does it take to be number one?” Well, lucky for you, I think I’ve found the answer. Join me as I recount my rise, plateau, and subsequent rise again into being cool at the University of Michigan and how you can too.
For some context, let me introduce myself. My name is Andrew and you’ve probably seen me around the AC (a fancy name we call the Stephen Ross Academic Center), at women’s soccer games racking up H.A.I.L. points, or maybe cruising down State Street with my athlete friends. I know, I know, it sounds like a dream but it could be your dream.
If it’s not clear by now, in order to be cool in college, you need to find some athlete friends, and become one of them. Does it matter if your noodly arms are a dead-giveaway that there’s no chance on earth you play a sport in college? Absolutely not. Wear a long-sleeve t-shirt, no one can tell the difference.
Once you’ve made your athlete friends and have become one of them, embrace the new you. You’ll see the difference instantly. When you’re walking around campus with your new friends, people will respect and want to be you. And you know what? I get it, I really do. Being cool is like Pringles: once you pop, you can’t stop. You’ll be making athlete friends upon athlete friends: Swimming, field hockey, lacrosse… it never ends!
Your new friends are going to be doing some pretty cool things. It’s imperative that you weasel your way into their plans as much as possible. Whether it’s a West Quad breakfast with an Olympian or a midnight run to Fleetwood Diner. To be cool you have to do cool things with them.
When you become cool, take time for those that aren’t as cool as you and stay grounded. While you’re chowing down at West Quad and someone not as cool as you shoots you a head nod, fire one right back. Just remember your roots and appreciate the general population.
Now you need to figure out where you stand amongst the cool kids. If you’re with a bunch of athlete friends studying, and you look up and they’re all laughing at you, that’s usually not a good sign. But hey, we’ve all been there. Just understand it comes with the territory. In order to raise your status in the wolf pack, if your athlete friends tell you to do something embarrassing, don’t think twice and just do it. That’s how strong bonds are formed and memories are made.
We all go blue here, but naturally, some go blue harder than others. You can be cool in college if you follow my guidelines. If you strive to wear that sick, team-issued clima-fit, shoot for the stars; get yourself some athlete friends, be cool, and go blue because we’re all in for Michigan.