MD

The Statement

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Advertise with us »

Random Student Interview: Is that racist?

Illustration by Megan Mulholland
Buy this photo

By Kaitlin Williams, Deputy Magazine Editor
Published September 23, 2012

Welcome to the Random Student Interview, where we’re rollin’ dirty and breakin’ the law. Oh, and we swear we’re not racist.

Hey! Stop!

(Woman on longboard stops) What’s up?

Do you want to be in the Random Student Interview?

Sure, why not?

I like your longboard. How long have you had it?

Like a year.

So since before it was cool?

I guess. I don’t know.

Do you consider yourself a hipster?

No.

I get it. You’re too hip to be a hipster.

No. I just bought my boyfriend a longboard for his birthday, then he really liked it so he bought me one, and then, yeah ...

Oh cool. So do you guys longboard around the town together?

Yeah. We also get tickets around town together.

Tickets?

Yeah. We got $100 tickets.

Where?

By North Quad.

So you’re not allowed to longboard there?

You’re not allowed to longboard on campus or in the city of Ann Arbor.

Well, that really narrows it down.

Yeah, so you have to keep an eye out for me.

OK. I’ll keep looking around for the police. You just concentrate on the interview. I didn’t know that longboarding was illegal. I thought it was just skateboards because they can do tricks. You know, like flip kicks.

No, I wish. But they just don’t know the difference.

Can you do any tricks on your longboard?

People can. I don’t. I don’t want to die. I like myself too much to try that.

What about hills? Have you ever gone down one and not been able to get back up?

I went down a bigger hill before and I had to go to the hospital afterwards so ...

Oh my gosh!

I don’t hurt myself anymore.

Wow. I didn’t know longboarding was so extreme.

Yeah.

OK. So I got so wrapped up in that I forgot I wanted to play a game this week. Do you know what free association is?

Yeah, you just say something and I say what comes to mind first.

OK. Great.

Hopefully this doesn’t get bad.

I hope it does. We’ll see.

Oh God.

All right. Blue.

Yellow.

White.

Green.

Black.

Red.

Rod.

Stewart?

Penis.

Dildo.

Well, this was fun. Thanks for stopping. I’ll let you ride off into the sunset. Don’t go getting any more tickets.

– Nikki is an LSA sophomore.