A gripping crime scene epic that involves murder, weapons, manhunts and broken families seems like a recipe for an entertaining show. But somehow A&E turns this foolproof formula into useless and corny programming with “The Fugitive Chronicles.”

"The Fugitive Chronicles"

Thursdays at 10 p.m.
A&E

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A&E’s latest spin on the crime scene show reenacts infamous manhunts from the past using actors and interviews with cops. The show tells the story from the criminal’s point of view using a voiceover from the actor playing the criminal. A&E presents this “inside look” into the mind of the criminal in order to offer a fresh perspective on cop shows.

However, with lines like “I’m the tiger who lingers back and forth in the cage” and “I’m just an original country boy,” it seems like the writer for “The Fugitive Chronicles” needed to let out some superfluous creativity into these "true" stories. Add in the melodramatic suspense music, obnoxiously placed commercial breaks and a jump cut from a cop getting shot to kids making pizza, and A&E has got itself a cheesy crime show that's obviously desperate to stand out.

Besides the tacky voices, the so-called evil fugitive from the pilot wasn't a notorious serial killer or a legendary terrorist. Instead, he was just some mullet-repping hick named Bucky, wanted for attempting to kill three cops after he escaped from jail. Are there really no other fugitive cases in all of the U.S. this show could cover?

While the fugitive in this story did make it to the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted list, it was only because he hid out in the woods for 156 days and the cops couldn’t find him. Even after he was captured, the cops even admitted that good ol’ Bucky looked ill and weak and they couldn’t believe this was the man who was causing so much terror.

What’s worse for the drama is that he surrendered. Instead of the big showdown that had been advertised, Bucky just gave up. The show is promoted as “gripping” because it tells tales of infamous manhunts. But really, all it gives you is some deadbeat dude who camped out in the woods for half a year. There’s nothing gripping about it.

Needless to say, A&E might want to spend its time chronicling stories its viewers actually want to watch. With the endless amounts of crime scene and cop shows that television offers, the network should realize that it doesn't need the melodramatic effects to get attention. “Unsolved Mysteries” and “America’s Most Wanted” are so successful because the crime stories are entertaining and exciting ― not because they use gimmicky sound effects.

If you’re looking to veg out by watching a cop show, any old episode of “CSI” that you’ve seen a thousand times would be far more entertaining than listening to some batty writer try to sound like a rough and tough criminal. About the only entertainment in “The Fugitive Chronicles” comes from a few good laughs at its corny attempt to be relevant.